Spring Stories: My Winding Journey to Motherhood

The journey to have my daughter was an eight year-long road trip. At times it felt like I was on a hamster wheel, going around and around without making any progress. However, looking back, I can now see all that I accomplished and that I was not going in circles, but rather I was on a path, making adjustments along the way until I reached my final destination. I learned a lot about myself and the fertility industry during these years, and while everyone’s experience is unique, I hope to make someone’s experience a little better by sharing my story.

The beginning

Prior to meeting my husband, I made the decision in 2016 to freeze my eggs. This was the start of my fertility journey. I was single, living in New York City, and had a grueling career as a management consultant where I was traveling four days a week with little to no time to date. I knew I wanted to have a family one day, and wanted an insurance policy. Like most people, I started the process thinking I would do one egg retrieval and would be good to go.

MY EARLY LEARNINGS:

• Do your research on fertility clinics and choose the one that fits your needs (and your needs can change!). I initially went to a reputable, but very large, clinic in New York City where I felt like I was one of hundreds of women coming through the door each day with little to no personalization. My second clinic was in my hometown outside of Dallas, Texas. The benefit at the time was that I could do my cycles while living at home with the support of my parents.
• Get a snapshot of your fertility in your 20s. Before I decided to freeze my eggs in my mid-30s, I had no idea about my ovarian reserve. I learned that I had diminished ovarian reserve and would likely need to do more than one cycle to get enough eggs for hopefully one live birth in the future. I went through three egg retrievals between 2016 and 2018 getting a total of 19 eggs.

The detour

If you have gotten lost before, you know that sometimes a detour can be a very good thing. And other times you wish you could have avoided it altogether. My fertility detour was a mix of both.

The very good thing: I met my husband and could now start thinking about starting a family in more real terms.

The not so very good thing: Covid-19.

After our wedding, we began to work on starting our family given I was in my late 30s. To accelerate our family planning, we decided to thaw my frozen eggs and create embryos. We had relocated to Boston at the start of Covid to be closer to family and so I changed fertility clinics. In the early days of the pandemic, fertility clinics were busy figuring out how to function while keeping patients healthy. I never met my reproductive endocrinologist in real life, we only spoke via video conference.

We did one additional egg retrieval cycle at the new clinic and created embryos with my frozen eggs that had recently been transported from Texas (note: the transportation process was relatively easy albeit expensive). Out of 23 embryos, we had only two chromosomally normal embryos to transfer. The first transfer did not implant, and the second transfer several months later resulted in a chemical pregnancy. I was literally back to square one with no viable embryos to use.

As it was still during Covid, and my husband and I could both work remotely, we decided to change fertility clinics. We went on the recommendation of a close friend of mine, who had recently had a good experience and successful transfer. The next year and a half were spent traveling cross-country to Denver, Colorado where I had four egg retrievals and a transfer.

MY LEARNINGS:

• Prioritize selfcare. While in the moment it can be difficult to do, doing things that make you feel good is so important while you are going through fertility treatments. Doing so supports your mental health and overall wellbeing. Whether it be a manicure, taking a day off work, going out for a good meal or spending time outdoors, prioritize this time.
• Lean into your community and identify your support system. Identify the family, friends and professionals in your network that you can lean in to during your fertility journey. Confide in those who will listen to you and if they can, offer advice. I pulled in friends with their own fertility journeys, therapists and acupuncturists who specialized in infertility, and family who could simply listen to me and provide love and support.
• Be your own advocate. While it is critical to trust your reproductive endocrinologist and clinic, take the time to do your own research and get second opinions, when necessary. If something does not feel right or you do not fully understand a medical recommendation, ask all your questions and get comfortable respectfully pushing back.

Changing direction yet again

My third and last transfer resulted in a miscarriage at eight weeks. When poor outcomes happen during fertility treatment, they can make you feel defeated. My miscarriage took me down a sad path. I had so much hope for this chromosomally normal embryo that I had worked at getting for over a year. Learning at my six-week ultrasound that this likely would not be a viable pregnancy was heart breaking. I elected for a D&C procedure right before the holidays in December 2022.

At that point in time, my husband and I decided we needed to change course. I was not sure how much more I could physically endure by having another retrieval and based on my prior history, the low likelihood of having a successful pregnancy.

We made the decision to pursue an egg donor and wanted to work with a clinic based out of New York City now that we had relocated back to the northeast post-Covid. I did my due diligence, speaking to all the top clinics, and made the decision to work with Spring Fertility.

I liked that Spring Fertility had a great reputation in the market and had a national presence but operated more like a smaller clinic with individual-based care. I also liked their patient-centric engagement model and how they worked with donors and intended parents alike. I had easy access to the nursing team and my reproductive endocrinologist. The offices were modern and it made me feel happy to be in the space, something I had not felt at other clinics.

After six months of vetting egg donors (more on this in a future blog post!), we landed on our match. Spring had a very thorough screening process for the donor, giving us peace of mind that we were making the right decision.

MY LEARNINGS:

• Pursue a dual path. Going through fertility treatments is trying and when one avenue does not work out it can be all the feelings (sadness, anger, failure, lost, etc.). I found it very helpful to always have another option that I was pursuing. It took my husband and I time to get comfortable with using an egg donor. We learned about the process and met with several donor agencies while I was still undergoing fertility treatments in Colorado.
• Ask for references. People tell the truth. When you are looking to make a decision on a donor agency, ask for references. Speak to parents or intended parents who have gone through the process and can speak to their experience with the agency.
• Prioritize what is important. When selecting a donor, prioritize what is important to you and your partner. Your clinic and the agency will be open to discussing donor profiles and help to answer any questions you may have.
• When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. With all my fertility experiences, I identified numerous pain points in the process – from clinic operations, to specialty pharmacy pricing strategies, and fertility benefit provider coverage. An overarching theme was the complexity of the process and how things could be made much easier.

In late 2023, I launched Stims Wellness to provide peace of mind so women can go about their daily lives less encumbered by medication requirements. Our launch product are fertility medication bags that keep refrigerated meds cool, organized and safe while on the go — to work, out to dinner with friends or a weekend trip away. I look forward to my bag helping make others’ fertility journeys less stressful.

Reaching our destination

This past August, I went in for a saline sonogram prior to a planned Fall embryo transfer. That’s when our path changed yet again. I found out in early September that I was pregnant — a spontaneous pregnancy! A spontaneous pregnancy is a natural conception and birth of a child without the use of assisted reproductive technologies (such as IVF). My husband and I were very surprised to say the least and cautiously optimistic.

Given my prior history, and to play things safe, we decided to proceed with the egg donor process, and the donor had her egg retrieval in October. The donor had over 20 eggs retrieved and 17 Day 5/Day 6 embryos (amazing!!). We decided to only test seven embryos, and all but one came back chromosomally normal. The Spring staff communicated progress along the way. Given my pregnancy, we froze all the embryos to use at a later time.

On May 16th, 2024, we welcomed our daughter. After eight years undergoing fertility treatments (and trying to conceive naturally), I had an easy and healthy pregnancy. I am extremely grateful to have my baby, and she is a constant reminder to remain hopeful and keep trying for what you want. Everyone’s path to having a family is unique and the timeline can be uncertain, but it will happen.