Spring Stories: Sarah & Lindsey’s Path to Parenthood
This June, we’re highlighting LGBTQ+-identifying members of our Spring Family to amplify their stories and unique pathways to parenthood. For LGBTQ+ couples, there are many considerations that come into play when choosing to grow your family through the support of assisted reproductive technologies, from selecting a donor to choosing who will carry the pregnancy to picking a fertility clinic you can trust.
We connected with Sarah and Lindsey, who had their son through IVF (and are expecting their second child this fall!) to hear about their experience and what they learned throughout the process!
Tell us about how your family-building journey began!
We had our first appointment with Spring Fertility in August of 2019 but we started seriously planning and saving money for treatment about 3 years before that. We originally thought about doing reciprocal IVF but in the end decided to move forward with IUIs and have Lindsey be the carrier as well as the bio parent. We chose to go with an anonymous donor through a cryobank (California Cryobank). We did 5 IUI cycles (3 unmedicated and 2 medicated) that were not successful. We were starting to feel pretty disappointed so we made the decision that if the fifth attempt didn’t result in a positive result we would take a break. Coincidentally we got the negative pregnancy test from the 5th IUI as California issued its shelter-in-place order for COVID; so we didn’t really have a choice but to put starting our family on hold. During that time we made the decision we wanted to move to IVF. In August of 2020 we started our IVF cycle and were lucky enough to end up with 4 normal healthy embryos. On October 3, 2020 we did our first transfer and it was a success. Our son, Sebastian was born on June 22, 2021.
What did the process of finding a fertility clinic look like for you? What were your priorities when seeking a clinic partner?
When we first started researching fertility clinics it felt very overwhelming. There was so much info to digest for each... treatment plans, success rates, reviews. Our main criteria, that they had experience and success working with LGBTQ+ couples. It was important for both of us to feel comfortable during the process. The other big priority was location. There are so many appointments, especially once we moved into IVF. We loved the fact that Spring had a couple different locations that were accessible to us.
What was the most unexpected thing you learned during the experience?
The most unexpected thing we learned (might sound crazy!) is that getting pregnant is not as easy as the world and some people make it out to be. The process really is so delicate in a way that all these things have to add up just right.
What was the best moment/memory from your fertility journey?
Finally getting our first positive pregnancy test! After not having success with 5 IUI attempts it felt so amazing to finally see those two pink lines.
Looking back, what is one piece of advice you would give an LGBTQ+ couple or individual starting their family-building journey?
Take it one step at a time and trust the process. It’s easier said than done because once you decide you want to start a family it feels like you want that baby yesterday but do your best to stay focused on whatever step or cycle you are in. We also went to couples therapy during our fertility journey and we think it was one of the best decisions we made. It was nice to have a designated time once a week to check-in with how each of us was feeling as well as discuss topics such as how we tell our future children about their donor or even what information was okay to share with family/friends vs what we wanted to keep private.
What does your family look like today? How will you be celebrating Pride together?
Our son will be turning three at the end of June so our household is in full toddler mode. Currently we are a family of three but on February 18, 2024 we completed a second embryo transfer and we are so excited to be welcoming our second child in November. This Pride we will be celebrating with family and friends. Reading books to our son about pride, diversity, and acceptance. Mostly we will continue to live out and proud as a LGBTQ+ family.
We feel incredibly lucky to have had the opportunity to build our family and we are so thankful to the team at Spring for helping make our dreams come true.