Taking Control of My Life Through Fertility Preservation
I was never going to be one of those people who froze my eggs. “I would have it all figured out when the time was right” — that is what I always told myself and others when they asked me if I would consider freezing my eggs. Then, life happened.
I have always been fortunate enough to have a lot of situations in my life work out at the right time. At the age of 29, I decided to quit my big law firm job and become an entrepreneur by starting my own law firm. After a few years of being focused on scaling my business, other women in my circle started asking me if I would ever consider freezing my eggs. I would tell them that as part of my “plan”, that I was going to find a partner and have my first child before the age of 35 when fertility and viability decreased.
I swear I blinked and turned 33. Even though I was getting closer to 35, I felt like I was still on track with my timeline because I was dating someone who I felt was really promising. I thought that because he was 37 he was ready for commitment and to be a father. While there were some obvious red flags and traits that my younger self would never have approved of, I felt like because I was getting older it was time for me to stop being so “picky” and just settle down.
Then suddenly, we broke up. I immediately started to panic and aggressively date so that I could find someone who I could potentially start a family with. I was projecting onto men an image of what I thought could be a good fit for what I was looking for, and being blind to all of their negative qualities just because I wanted to have a child within my planned window.
I have never made any concessions in my life about my dreams or goals. So why was it when making one of the most important decisions, that I was willing to co-parent with someone with qualities that I did not want for the next 18+ years?
As a female entrepreneur, I have never made any concessions in my life about my dreams or goals. So why was it when making one of the most important decisions about my life, that I was willing to co-parent with someone with qualities that I did not want for the next 18+ years? I realized that my actions were not aligning with who I am as a person. I am not the type of woman who would ever just wait to be chosen, I do the choosing.
That is why in the Spring of 2023, I chose to take back control of my life and have my first consultation with Spring Fertility. I chose Spring Fertility because several of the women in my network had gone to Spring and absolutely loved their experience. Within a few days of scheduling, I got an appointment with Dr. Yoder. Walking in, I was ready to be told that I needed to freeze immediately because of my age, but that was not the case at all. During our consultation, Dr. Yoder even explained to me that while women’s biology has not changed and fertility rates were still highest in our 20s, having a pregnancy in New York City before the age of 30 was getting less and less common as women focused on their other goals prior to starting their families — I wasn’t “falling behind schedule.” At that moment, I knew that I was in the right facility that would understand my needs.
During our 45 minute consultation, Dr. Yoder went over all of the information about fertility and egg freezing and Dr. Yoder made me feel comfortable even asking the silliest questions. Even after having my period for almost 20 years, I realized that there was so much that I did not know about my body. At that consultation, I explained to Dr. Yoder my plans to travel and the desire to have the process completed before the summer, and Dr. Yoder provided me with a plan to get started right within the perfect time period.
Dr. Yoder made me feel comfortable even asking the silliest questions. Even after having my period for almost 20 years, I realized that there was so much that I did not know about my body.
As a business owner, I have basic health insurance that unfortunately does not pay for fertility treatments. One of the best things about Spring is their no interest monthly payment plan which made the process accessible and affordable. Leaving my first appointment, I felt confident and empowered to begin the process.
People often perceive me as someone who is strong and powerful, but fertility is something that made me feel really vulnerable because it was outside of my control. I knew that other women must feel the same way, which is why I made it a priority to share my journey. I wanted women to see that going through the process of egg freezing was not something to be ashamed of, but a form of strength and independence.
While it is extremely important to me to have a family, I am never going to make exceptions for who I choose to be my partner. I have discovered that taking control of my life means giving myself the freedom to make decisions without the limitations of time or societal pressure. The truth is that while the biology of a woman has not changed, we have the power to do what we can to have everything we desire in our lives without relying on anyone else. Freezing my eggs with Spring Fertility has allowed me to enter into this next chapter of my life with a new sense of confidence knowing that I am secure in my relationships and my choices.
