Tips for Navigating Fertility Treatment During the Holidays

The holiday season and the increase in social gatherings can sometimes bring about emotional heaviness and complex feelings. If you’re on the fertility journey, it’s completely normal to feel a sense of dread or worry during this time. It can be especially challenging when you’re reminded of others who have reached their family-building goals, like a sibling with children, or seeing pregnant relatives or encountering well-meaning but hurtful questions and comments from family and friends about your family building journey.

Please know that your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to honor them. You are not alone in navigating these emotions, and it’s important to give yourself grace during a time that can feel overwhelming. You are deserving of care, support, and space to process all that you are going through.

Here are some tips for navigating the holiday season: 

Planning & Preparing

• Set boundaries:
  • Consider setting limits on the time you spend at events
  • Set the time for how long you will stay at an event
  • Give yourself permission to skip an event or say no
  • Make alternative plans for the holidays (e.g., a trip)
• Make a plan: Come prepared to social gatherings with responses to questions about your infertility journey and treatment process
• Consider how you might respond when family and friends ask you about your family building journey. Everyone’s approach to these conversations is unique, and there’s no “right” or “wrong” thing to say if someone tries to talk to you about family-building. Here are some examples, ranging from vulnerable to humorous and everything in between:
  • "We are working on it."
  • "Enough about me, how are you doing?"
  • "I appreciate you asking; it is hard to talk about and I do not want to get into that conversation today."
  • "I want to share my feelings about infertility with you, because I want you to understand my struggle. But today is not the time for that."
  • "We tried 7 times last night!"
  • "That is a great question; I wish I knew the answer."
  • "1 in 6 couples struggle with infertility."
  • "Relaxing has not solved infertility yet."
  • "Only we will know what is right for our family."
• Consider putting energy into creating your own holiday traditions

Turning Inward

• Recognize that feelings of grief, guilt, self-blame, sadness, and worry can be common emotional responses for people facing infertility and going through fertility treatments
• Focus on and tune into your unique emotional experience:
  • Ask yourself: "What would help me feel nurtured today?" or "What do I need today?"
  • Make space for grief
  • Give yourself permission to feel how you feel; make space and time for your emotional experience and avoid suppressing emotions
  • Remember your emotions are valid
  • Remember this time will pass, so take what you need and leave what you don't

Coping Skills

• Identify and increase pleasurable activities (e.g., what did you enjoy before you started fertility treatments?)
• Make space for activities and conversations that have nothing to do with the fertility treatment process
• Give yourself permission to take a break
• Create Affirmations:
  • "I have survived X, I will survive Y."
  • "Try easier!"
  • "I can trust my future self to manage whatever happens."
    • Using a compassionate lens, consider what your future self would tell your current self?
• Practice Self-Compassion:
  • "I will love you and be there for you."
  • "You are [insert e.g., enough, worthy, loveable]."
• Engage in breathing practices and mindfulness
  • Our content collection, “Support for Your Fertility Journey,” created in collaboration with Headspace includes meditations to support you through each stage of the treatment process. You can access it here - no Headspace subscription necessary!

Support

• Talk about your feelings and experiences with a safe person
• Help family and friends be supportive
• Prompts to help people show their support:
  • "I need you to be a listener not make the decision; that will be my job."
  • "Don't ask me 'are you sure?', instead tell me 'that must be hard'."
  • "Tell me you love me and you know that I am sad."
• Consider Spring Fertility's in-house emotional support offerings. In addition to one on one and couple’s counseling services, we offer support groups for those seeking additional care and community. Check out our Winter and Spring sessions here.
• Consider joining a RESOLVE support group

As the holiday season unfolds, it’s important to remember that no matter where you are on your fertility journey, you don’t have to navigate it alone. The tips and resources we’ve shared are here to support you in finding moments of peace, strength, and hope during this time. While the path may be difficult, it’s also a testament to your resilience and determination in pursuing your dreams.

Please know that at Spring Fertility, we’re here for you not just as providers in fertility care, but as a partner in your journey. This season may come with unique challenges, but it’s also an opportunity to embrace the care and compassion you deserve. Together, we’ll continue moving forward, one step closer to the family-building dreams you’ve been working toward. You are not alone.